Breakdown to Breakthrough

Posts Tagged ‘embrace fear’

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“Every breakthrough is preceded by a breakdown. The good news is that 80% of the time it means you are on the verge of a quantum leap forward in whatever area you are experiencing the breakdown in, be it finances, business, health, or relationship”  ~Vincent j Kellsey


In 2010 I was running a successful coaching, speaking, and seminar business changing people’s lives and making good, if not great, money.

In 2011, I was living in a friend’s tiny back room, sleeping on the floor, going to a job I hated, waking in the middle of the night feeling like I was going to go insane with fear and dread and anxiety, knowing there was nowhere to run. I even considered taking my own life to escape the agony.

In 2012, I followed a dream and moved to Asia, I published a book, I led amazing and successful events for companies such as Warner Bros. in Hollywood, more than doubled my income, found the true love of my life, and found joy and happiness again.

So what was it that led me from success to despair and back again to success?What was the turning point that brought me back from total breakdown to breaking through to even greater success and happiness than I had experienced before the breakdown?

I was in a long term relationship that was not working, to put it mildly. My partner left our relationship 3 times in a span of five years, and the first time she left I was utterly devastated, shattered, and I completely lost myself, my identity, my personal power, and my life direction. How is it that we can put so much of ourselves into another person, so much so that if that person leaves we lose ourselves? I am far from an expert on that topic and will not attempt to delve into it, however I know that it happens to many people, and in reality has nothing to do with the relationship, and everything to do with our own sense of self worth, self power, and self esteem.

This type of breakdown can happen to people in any area, when they lose a job, lose someone they love, lose a home, have a major health challenge, etc. It can seem like our life and the world has crashed down and is over, and some even take their lives at this point. For me, I experienced what it was like to almost lose my mind, go over that “edge” we all fear…I saw that edge, walked it, and came back into the light.

So how did I get out? How did I walk away from that edge, never to look back?

I used the power of an emotion that is considered “negative” to save my life and transform fear into power. A friend did something that to me was a betrayal of trust and an abuse of friendship, and I simply got very, very, VERY, angry.

And I discovered something. That anger has power in it, whereas despair leaves you powerless. It is far far better to be angry than to give up, because the power of anger can be turned into action, which can be turned into results, which leads to breakthrough and transformation.

I am grateful to that friend, for they truly saved my life by prompting me to transform my despair into the power to take action. I now teach others how to transform fear into power, and my mission in life is to help people find true freedom and inspire them to step up and become leaders and teachers, showing others the way to freedom. In the words of Buddha, until all of us are free, none of us are free.

To your freedom!


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Playing It Safe

It is true that we can tend to fall into a rut in our lives, play it safe and then wonder why we seem to lack the spark that we used to have , the passion for life. I know it has happened to me – and I finally realized why.

Pushing the Boundaries

When we push our boundaries, live close the edge, outside our comfort zone – depending what we are doing it can actually be a life or death situation like climbing a mountain or driving a race car hundreds of miles an hour – or our minds can just think it is a life or death situation because of the fear that we feel.  But when we stop and think about how we felt after the fear has passed, or when we moved into the fear and then out of it again- we often feel more alive, energized and excited than we did before.  Why is this?  Because we have, consciously or unconsciously, transformed that fear into power.

Bring it On!

When we realize this, we can use the very  fear that used to stop us as fuel to achieve things greater than we ever realized we could. If we can simply change what that feeling of fear means to us, we can change it from ” oh my god – fight or flight”  to ” I am ready to rock and roll- bring it on!”  and feel more alive than we have ever felt before. And in that lies true freedom.

To your greatest success and freedom,

Vincent j Kellsey

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